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One Depp Too Far: Chapter 11Disclaimer: See first chapter.

Chapter 11: Loose Ends

Constable Crane was watching with disgust as the pirate examined the red sticky substance on his cutlass. Jack sniffed the blood of the Werepretzel before dipping a finger in and tasting it.

"That's revolting," Ichabod exclaimed.

"Actually, it's jam," said Jack. "Strawberry in fact."

Ichabod rolled his eyes and lay back on the floor to rest.

"Wake me up when it's time to go home," he muttered.

Jack glowered at the constable. He put his sword away once more.

"In case you 'aven't noticed, mate, we might never get back 'ome. Not if that horseman finds Mr Wonka before we do."

"I'm sur

One Depp Too Far: Chapter 10Disclaimer: See first chapter.

Chapter 10: The Ammunitions Department

The Great Glass Elevator arrived at the mouth of one of the most gigantic rooms in the factory. Rows upon rows of humming conveyor belts shifted regiments of chocolate slabs; hundreds of robotic arms lifted the bars to and fro, sealing them in shining paper and foil and dropping them into cardboard packages for delivery. Above these, seemingly purposeless machines hovering on jets of steam pootled about the rafters, every so often bearing a candied treat out of a high hatchway.

Edwards's curiosity overwhelmed him. He waddled towards the active scene and banged his head o

One Depp Too Far: Chapter 9Disclaimer: See first chapter.

Chapter 9: Wrong Place For An Argument

"For pity's sake man, lift me higher!" Ichabod shouted, his feet slipping on the pirate's shoulders.

They stood in the centre of the beam of light, surrounded by snarling wolf-pretzels, the constable's hand almost grasping the grille in the ceiling. Jack was swishing his cutlass around to fend off the beasts, one hand trying to prevent Ichabod's shoe kicking him in the face.

"Fine!" Sparrow growled as his bandanna slipped over his eyes. "How's about you try scrapping hand-to-'and with lycanthropic pastries and see 'ow you cope with a great lump prancin' about on yer col

One Depp Too Far: Chapter 8Disclaimer: See first chapter.

Chapter 8: Scissors In The Elevator

William marched through one of the many mazes of corridors, Edward scuttling not far behind.

"Three more turns, Mr Edward, and we can take the shortcut across the factory."

Edward struggled to keep up, hoping not to scratch the walls as he passed.

"Where are we going?" he asked.

"You'll see!"

The chocolatier skipped around the third corner and halted in front of a gap in the wall. He smiled at his companion.

"Here we are," he said gleefully. "My trusty mode of transport, the Great Glass Elevator!"

Mr Wonka stepped into the lift shaft – and fell several feet into

One Depp Too Far: Chapter 7Disclaimer: See first chapter.

Chapter 7 - A Room Full Of Curses

After sliding through a pitch-black tunnel for what must have been five minutes, the boy with scissors for hands tumbled into a brightly lit room. Mr Wonka hit the ground seconds later.

When Edward stood he was unnerved to see that every pair of eyes in the room was upon him, and none of them were human. The blades of his hands chattered together and he backed off against the wall.

William got to his feet and frowned at Edward's behaviour.

"What's up with you? You're acting like you've never seen a sheep before."

Edward looked at the chocolatier with an expression of fear

One Depp Too Far: Chapter 6Disclaimer: See first chapter.

Chapter 6 - Restless Hollows

Jack and Mort were scrapping like wolves at the top of the riverbank, teeth bared and fingers clawed. It was impossible to tell which had the upper hand in a show of strength, but at the moment the pirate was pinned down. This was remedied easily by pressing Mort's glasses firmly back into his face.

As Mr Rainey arched back in pain he was distracted by a loud whistle in his ear. He turned just as Ichabod cracked the cane across his forehead. Mort stayed focused long enough to give the constable a withering glare, and then lay still.

Jack shoved his unconscious attacker aside and

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Who's got my badger?by *Gallifrey-Pirate

Photography / People & Portraits / Cosplay

Yep, there'll be a lot of this sort of photo going up on dA but here's my version. So... I went to the 11th Hour this weekend and I had to pause while they changed the disc in the camera... and Mr Smith just looked at me and went "Oh my god... is that a Charlie the Badger???" Within seconds he was faffing with Charlie, I was faffing with where the heck to stand (because he's just a bit too awesome and my brain melted) and somehow we ended up with this brilliant image.

Thank you so much to the lovely cameraman at Starfury in Birmingham for taking this photo. Entirely (c) him for the snap, and BBC (c) for general Doctor Who-ness.

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~VenezuelanCosplayer Feb 12, 2013 Hobbyist Photographer

Niceee!! I Love Matt Smith!!!

~disneydamsel98 Dec 10, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

omg!! BADGER!!!!
i loved it when Charlieissocoollike gave him the badger in Doctor Who Confidential!!!!!

~Mellaria12 Oct 14, 2012 Student Traditional Artist

Oh my god, I would have fainted being that close to Matt Smith.
I am envious on multiple levels!
Lucky duck!
Wish I could've done that!

*Gallifrey-Pirate Oct 21, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

D'aw thank you for the envy |D <3 I'm honestly surprised I didn't faint myself. I managed to find some weird plateau of calm out of the sheer fear and excitement. Hopefully you'll get to do the same one day! -x-

~Mellaria12 Oct 21, 2012 Student Traditional Artist

One day it WILL happen. Anyway, still jelly until then ^.^

~Keyblademaster-Steph Oct 8, 2012

That's an awesome pic.! You should have it framed and hanging on your wall. I haven't ran into any of my heros yet. Meaning a chance to take a photo with them or just talk to them.
Hope to someday meet him as well.

*Gallifrey-Pirate Oct 21, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

Thank you! I really hope you do get to meet him. He's an absolute sweetie. If I didn't feel like I looked a total derp, I'd definitely have to hang it up. I'm sure I'll work out somewhere to put it someday haha. The best part was definitely the little moments when I got to exchange words with him and the terrifying moment I stood in front of him and asked a question at the panel. I know he's just a lad doing a job, but I can't help the squeeing >.>

~flibbertigibbet-esq Sep 25, 2012 Student Traditional Artist

My mind would have melted as well, as well as my heart XD

*Gallifrey-Pirate Oct 21, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

Bless ye <3 Yeah... that's probably why my face looked so awful in my first pic with Mr Smith. I was so distracted in the shot with the badger that I looked more natural -x-

~flibbertigibbet-esq Oct 26, 2012 Student Traditional Artist

Its a good picture!

I would be distracted too XD Matt Smith being right there would have my heart on hiatus XD

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